Thursday, January 10, 2019

Off the Shelf: (For the love of) Random Tables

So, holidays have come and holidays have gone, it's another year apparently.  Uranus is on the path to its Aphelion, at which point it will be 20.19 Astronomical Units from the sun, and it's been a solid two weeks since I made a post here.  Now that all the various seasonal commotion has largely died down, it's about half-past high time I got this show back on the road, and especially with a post that isn't another adventure.  I like adventures, but they're more work than this, and the next one(s) I'm working on (a discussion of the usage of classic dungeon traps and hazards and their place in RPGs inspired by a reddit thread I saw, and a detail of a pantheon at the prompting of a discord server I'm a part of).

So, on to the main point of this whole thing, random tables.  I love 'em, you love 'em, the entire OSR movement certainly loves 'em, but I've certainly found occasions on which people criticize them for various reasons.  I have a good friend who once said that "random tables are dumb, because they take away creativity and force you to make a character you don't want."  This is of course, a misconception that needs addressing, but not with some big long argument.  If you GMs out there have any stories of similar instances and how you dealt with them, I'd love to hear about them.  For me though, any time I've come across that mentality, I've simply mentioned that no random table is a forced replacement for creativity that dictates how you should play or do something, it's just a tool to enhance your own creativity, or occasionally perhaps a replacement for creativity if you are truly stuck on what kind of character to play, adventure to run, item of loot to give out, or have hit any similar sort of block.  Indeed I have found inspiration in random tables more times than I can count, and often times that initial mental catalyst has led me to develop a better character or concept that I would have been able to if I hadn't first rolled a few dice and sunk my mind into the depth of implication found in a short descriptive paragraph.

Below are a few random tables I've come up with recently either for this post or for other reasons.  Hopefully they might provide you some amount of inspiration in the same way that various random tables have for me.



Interesting Locations (1d10)
1
A man-sized block of travertine in the middle of a town square.  Currently it is used as a plinth for a bronze statue of the town's ruling Hegemon.  In the past, however, it served as a street marker. As such, it bears a name for the town which has not been used in centuries and is incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't speak the now-dead language in which it is written.
2
A gilt-bronze fountain at the center of a town square.  It is shaped like the nude figure of a comely young woman standing upon the petals of a type of lily that hasn’t been seen in the region for several centuries.  In her hands, cradled to her body, she holds a stoneware jug, from which the fountain’s waters issue forth. Perhaps it’s of an old goddess the townsfolk used to keep...
3
A great, patinated and wind-worn bronze statue of a bullhorn acacia, sitting atop a marble pedestal carved to resemble roots.  It sits in the middle of seemingly nowhere in the harsh scrubland that borders the great desert. If approached, one may find a placard with text in all the major trade languages of the region.  It tells the tale of the tree which once stood on that spot. It was the only tree around for leagues in any direction, and once a meeting place for travellers. One night, a drunkard from a trade caravan accidentally slammed a cart of oil barrels into it, and a broken lantern caused a blaze which burned it down...
4
A patch of scorched ground about a hundred yards in diameter.  At the center is a blackened heap of something roughly the size of a small Human, Dwarf, or large Gnome.  It is not particularly humanoid in shape, just about that size. Ones like it have been appearing all across the land in the middle of the night, and no one knows why...
5
The ruins of an old tower-house, recently restored by a wealthy romanticist and patron-of-the-arts.  The wooden upper sections have been rebuilt, a new roof raised and tiled, and the old stone foundation coated with a fresh layer of lime-plaster which has been dyed a garish pink instead of its usual bright white.  The only part of the structure left untouched are the arms of the original owners, sculpted above the door. There they remain, a trio of manticores, roaring on either side of a chevron, repainted in their original black and gold, and only serving to emphasize the newly gaudy look of the place...
6
An old barn which has stood at the corner of your property for as long as anyone in the region can remember.  It always seems to be on its last legs. It lists to one side and with every storm seems sure to fall over, yet never does.  The few times you’ve poked your head in, you’ve mostly seen piles of rubble, yet on the second floor, something golden gleams beneath a heap of sodden filth.  Nonetheless, you’ve never been able to work up the courage to actually walk inside. The thing seems poised to collapse at any moment, and besides, your grandpappy always said there were snakes in there...
7
A dry pond, cracked in the hottest heat of summer and surrounded by dead rushes, dry cat-tails, and empty lotus pods.  A sad sight to behold, yet seemingly still vibrant. Every now and then, some small creature seems to dart out of, or back into, a series of small holes in the cracked ground.
8
A city in the middle of the desert which is surrounded by an ancient and inexplicable brass wall. If explored, its strange buildings of greenish glass will be discovered to hold a secret. At the center of the city is an ancient magical core of glowing, pulsating stone. It is inactive, but if a certain ritual is performed it can become active again, allowing the city to levitate above the sands and provide power to eight mighty clockwork spider legs which allow it to traverse the desert on some strange, yet methodical route...
9
A forest clearing which, though a decent width, remains mostly dark as the far-reaching boughs of multiple huge trees are nearly intertwined above.  On the north side, there is a circle of stones, which you seem to recall being mentioned in a rhyme once sung to you by one of your mother’s cousins, something about the full moon, and the phrase “walk around three times widdershins...”
10
Your neighbor’s house, yet not a house.  The building has always more resembled, you thought, some sort of temple or even a mausoleum.  It is a grand structure of alabaster, yet there is always something of an air of melancholy, or even foreboding about it.  Every so often, when you look closely, you can feel a faint presence from within. It draws you towards the dark entrance, and if ever you approach, you can hear a faint sound within, a sound like a person wailing and sobbing, or were they laughing...


Interesting Items (1d10)

1
A suit of textile armor, consisting of a linothorax with a bronze-scaled midsection, bronze greaves, rawhide lamellar spaulders, and a bronze helmet in the “boar’s tusk” style.  The entire thing is embossed with motifs of bats in flight and membranous, chiral wings. Upon putting it on, the wearer may hear a faint hum when facing north. After a week of wear that will fade to a barely-perceptible vibration. (Note, if your character is some sort of Bat-folk, or any other character race/species capable of hearing frequencies inaudible to humans, you will instead hear a voice within your mind which speaks in an incomprehensible language.  After a week, it will instead say “north” in your own tongue.)
2
A palm-sized turquoise figurine of a humanoid figure with the head of a heron.  It wears a crown atop its head which is set with tiny citrines.
3
A small box made of aromatic cedar and sandalwood.  It is inlaid with mother of pearl in a geometric pattern that vaguely resembles a pair of eyes.  Within is a strange, black, dusty residue that smells faintly of burnt rubber.
4
A river rock which is worn smooth, yet seems to have a harder concretion embedded within that faintly resembles a hummingbird if you look at it from a certain angle.
5
An elaborate folding screen made of red lacquered wood and panels of buffalo horn, so thin as to be translucent.  Upon it is painted a scene of a bygone goddess of beauty undressing behind a tree, then beginning to step out into the open.  There are a set of broken hinges for where another panel might attach, but that panel is missing...
6
A strange black pearl.  To the touch it feels incredibly hard and solid, and weighs more than three times what you imagined it might.  It almost seems like the creature that made it was leeching some sort of metal out of the ocean sand upon which it dwelled...
7
A carving of a half-naked, leaf-clad wild man with a mighty club, carved on oak.  It seems to have once been a supporter of a coat of arms, but the paint has long since chipped off the shield, helm, and mantling and some sort of weevil appears to have heavily marred their surface.
8
A complex construction of wood and shell, bound with shark-skin and featuring a broken mount at the bottom end for what was once a jeweled cabochon.  The vendor who insisted on selling it to you claimed that it was a plectrum for some sort of stringed musical instrument
9
An old brass sword pommel cast in the shape of a stylized stag’s head.  It feels oddly heavy in the hand, and the inside is threaded. The back end shows no sign of having once been peened, and thus you are left with the impression that if you found the right sword, it could be screwed right on.  For some reason it seems to become faintly warmer when you hold it while standing in the back of the weapon shop, near the unfinished blades...
10
A five-course cittern, with a flat top and a ribbed back, constructed of heavily-figured maple and walnut.  It is ornately carved, inlaid with iridescent shells, and features a head-stock shaped to resemble a dragon’s head clutching an amber sphere in its mouth.  Within the amber are the remains of a honeybee. Supposedly this instrument was once owned by a bard of some renown...


“Forbidden Spells” (1d6)

1
Gas Pang: Causes one selected target within 60ft. that you can see to suffer a bout of painful and uncontrollable gastrointestinal gas.  If the target does not save, they will be sickened for 1d4 rounds, if the target fails the save by five or more, they will instead be completely incapacitated for one round, then sickened for 1d4 rounds.  If the target fails the save by 10 or more, they will take 3d10 damage. If this brings the target to 0hp, they will explode due to rapid expansion of gas. Casting this spell with a greater power or higher spell slot will decrease the increments of failure by one step (failure by 5 or more causes the damage, failure at all incapacitates the target).
2
Troll’s Blood: This spell allows the caster to brew a potion, which when ingested grants the drinker a regeneration of 2HP/round, negated if the target took fire or acid damage that round.  If cast at a greater power or higher level slot, the regeneration rate increases by 2 (max. 10/round), however, if “upcast” like this, the target must save or become infected with a strange virus which will slowly turn them into a troll over the course of the next few days (you may roll on the “Random Troll” table if you wish to find out a particular type of troll into which they will transform).
3
Chalcedony Skin: By snorting powdered agate, the caster may become temporarily impervious to enemies spells, being unable to be targeted by spell attacks or effects for the next round, and granting a penalty or disadvantage to magical attacks directed at them for a number of rounds equal to the power or casting level of the spell.  When this is used, the caster must save or become encased in a solid mass of agate, taking 1d10 damage per power level, casting level, or success margin by which the spell was cast per round as their body slowly becomes part of the mass, or double that if the agate is broken.
4
Knight’s Shade: This spell summons a ghostly knight to fight on behalf of the caster.  The more powerful the casting of the spell, the more powerful the shadow Knight, but the more likely it is to turn against the caster.  The ghostly knight lasts for 1d4 rounds, increasing to 1d6 and a maximum of 1d8 if the spell is cast more powerfully, but the difficulty of the save to avoid the shadow Knight’s treachery should increase proportionally.
5
Neutralization:  This spell may be cast with a a quick gesture, and takes effect instantaneously when the caster is struck with elemental magic.  The spell provides the caster with a reactive coating of the opposite substance of the elemental damage assailing them, thus negating up to 5 points of the damage, but potentially dealing 1 damage per level of the attacking spell to all those within 10ft. of the caster.  If cast more powerfully, the damage negated will increase to 10, then simply negate the entirety of the damage. The collateral damage will triple, then quadruple as well.
6
Echoes of Ulthar: Crafted long ago by one of the mysterious “Tyger Wizards” some say, this spell is a potent, but unusual one.  In order to correctly perform the ritual to cast this spell,, the caster must have petted a cat within the last hour, then must say the required incantation.  The target is one single creature which the caster knows by name. If that creature has caused or conspired to cause harm to a cat within the last week, the target will be stricken with a fatal sense of unease.  The following night, they will be circled by hundreds and hundreds of cats, and by morning, only a smooth, picked-clean skeleton will remain. The only way to reverse this curse once it is invoked is to make an offering to the cat god of one’s blood, spilt by the claws of a cat, who will carry the offering off to the cat god’s realm…


Secret (Three Letter Acronym) Organization Red Herrings (1d8)

1
The Traveling Ling-Ling Acrobats
2
Tavarez & Lowry, Attourneys
3
Trans-Liminal Airways
4
Towlston Lift Agency
5
Tinvale Leage of Agrarians
6
Telegraph Line Adjusters
7
Tomasso L’Aventura
8
Talent & Liability Acquisitions

So there you have it, a small collection of random-rolling inspiration machines.  Hopefully you may find some use in them.  I may be back again to do this later as I often have ideas for these types of things.  With that, may your road lead you ever onward, for many adventures lie ahead.

-Armstrong

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